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I decided to organize a weekly creative writing exercise in the office to sharpen the skills of the writing pool. Everyone takes a turn inventing an exercise or a prompt.

The only general rule we've been using is that it should be doable in an hour or so. We've also tried to keep things fun.

Please feel free to share your own exercise efforts by leaving a comment. You can do that at the end of each exercise by clicking on 'Share your own effort'. Enjoy!

Writing Exercises Quick Links
Write an Obama Speech
Wordlplay, Anagram as Inspiration
Strictly Dialogue
Character Sketch
An Article of Clothing
The Truth
Press Release
Creative Description
Paired Fiction Writing
Connecting Ideas
Writing in Persona
Point of View
Interior Monologue
Body Language
Alternate Ending
Book Cover
Horror Writing
Dialogue 3
Dialogue 2
Nanofiction Writing
Writing Without Adjectives
Love Letters
Fictional Monologue
TV Show Opening Monologue
Short Story, Object as Narrator
Speech Writing
Tongue Twister
Suspense and Emotion
Describe and Compose
Poetic Confession
Application letter
Essays of Absurdities
Dialogue with Self
Imaginative Writing
Short Story from Cartoon
Five Random Words
Letter of Complaint

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Exercise 6 - Essays of Absurdities

Essays of Absurdities


Back in grade school, we were always asked to do a formal/informal theme and the topic would always be "How I Spent My Summer Vacation". My piece would always talk about how I visited all kinds of places and did all kinds of things when in fact, I spent my entire vacation in the backyard climbing trees and playing siatong. Well, what if we all had this really cool (or crazy) English composition teacher who, instead of the usual "summer vacation" essays, would let us do a "make up essay" wherein we could really use our imagination?


Today's writing exercise involves writing an Essay of Absurdity. Choose from the topics below and fire away:


I Will Never Date That Alien Again

How I Overcame My Hemophobia: A Vampire Tells All

How I Explained The Birds And The Bees To My Five Year Old Daughter

Your Honor, I Want To Change My Name

I Don't Want To Be The School Mascot Anymore

I Think My Gorilla Doesn't Love Me Anymore


Exercise is good for an hour. Good luck!


I chose the last topic: 

I Think My Gorilla Doesn't Love Me Anymore


The end of an affair


Her sweet growl doesn't sound as playful or as teasing as before.  Now it feels more like sharp heavy grunts punctuated by her struggled breathing.  When before, we would spend lazy afternoons wrestling in the freshly mowed grass of my well manicured garden, now she seems content to just squat beside me while munching on a random twig or a piece of bark.


That is where we are right now, staring blankly at the horizon waiting for the sun's golden disk to sink into the hills ahead.  My stare betrays my frantic ponderings while hers, beneath the forlorn countenance, is a mystery.  I can only guess what she's thinking. 


Her name is Kinky Kong, originally from Kenya. 


My affair with Kinky Kong started like a movie cliché.  I picked her up in a bar. 


She was struggling to pick peanuts from the complimentary bowl.  Her hands, like most gorillas', were too rough and bulky to fish through the nuts without making a mess of the bar.  I was perched three stools away, and silently observing her mini-ordeal.  She had obviously grown desperate and was looking around the bar for a helpful soul.  Not the bartend as he was currently hunched behind the bar tending to the ice box.  Trying to be friendly, I decided to catch her attention.  When she finally noticed my earnest waving, I motioned for her to cup the bowl using two hands and to pour the peanuts right into her mouth.  She probably had thought about it but had decided it was inappropriate.  After seeing my animated urgings though, she readily drank the peanuts like a china man slurps his hot soup.  Finally contented, she throws a big smile my way. 


That's when I noticed the twinkle in her eyes.  Beneath the heavy, bulging brows and the tangle of animal hair, I caught a glimpse of the sensuality deep within.  That's when I decided to shuffle over to the empty stool beside her.  Later that night, in her hotel room, I quickly learned that she called herself Kinky Kong not without reason.  She didn't just look like an animal.  In bed, she was an animal.  We've been together ever since.


That was a fortnight past. 


Now, as I try to reignite the excitement we both felt back then, I'm left wondering why?  Have I been cruel?  Was it something I said before?  I remember two days ago I gave her a bunch of her favorite 'lakatan' bananas only they were slightly overripe.  When she squeezed one expecting the insides to slide out, she was instead squirted with banana mush right to her nose.  I profusely apologized between my stolen chuckles but clearly she was distressed.  But was that it?  I should think not.  She may be an ape but she's not a dumb heap of hair, although sometimes balled up on cold evenings in bed beside me, I sometimes do mistake her for a bunched up rug.  But no, that wasn't it.


Was it because I declined to introduce her to my mother?  I don't think so either.  I had told her before that I wasn't ready for anything serious having come from a recent bad break up from a short steamy affair with a quirky panda from China.  Not that I discounted bringing our current fling to the next level.  In fact, I did think about it a few times.  I remember once last week, as I was silently entranced watching her picking lice between the toes of her heavily calloused feet, I did think fleetingly, what if this could all work out.  We both rabidly chased our careers though we worked in different fields.  Me in corporate law and her in amusement parks management.  But we still found time for each other. 


But even then, had my time run out?  I felt all hope draining from me like the glow of the once bright and clear sky now turning into a palette of violets and pinks. 


She must have sensed my inner cries.  She brusquely extends her hairy hand and finds mine, limp and lonely.  I yearn for answers all the more.  She turns to me and with pained and tearful eyes, tells me without words that which I had most feared.  She was leaving me.  I let go of her hand, half-hoping she would hug me one last time but even that didn't come.  I didn't deserve it.  She picks herself up and glides away through the bushes, her black matted hair glistening in the warm colors of the setting sun.


The day had come to an end.

Posted at 11:10 am by bisoy


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