Title: The Cynic
A dimwitted playboy who, although outwardly confident, is really insecure about himself and constantly runs to his friend and confidant for support and reassurance.
The sarcastic, tactless, cynical best friend and confidant of Gino Carpio who never takes anything seriously.
Scene 1: set description (a bus stop, while waiting for their ride home from school):
Gino: (after staring at Melvin for a minute) Did I ever tell you about Daisy?
Melvin: No but I have a feeling you will.
Gino: Imagine this bro: brown curls, perfect complexion, legs that go on forever and damn, has she got the moves! All the guys were staring at her at the dance floor last night at the club. Remember… the party… where you didn’t show!
Melvin: She’s not real. Women like her don’t exist. I tell you, she has a dark secret behind her façade. Maybe she’s a serial killer or something, and she lures dumb men like you to her bed before killing them.
Gino: Did I mention her boobs? Whew. You know, if she was topless and sitting on top of me, I wouldn’t mind dying that way. She’s that hot pal. Scorchin.!!!
Melvin: I bet she paid top dollar for her boob job….
Gino: Damnit Melvin, why do you have to spoil everything!
Melvin: …part of her wicked ways to lure dumb jerks like you who think with their dicks. You know what, I’m guessing, just shortly after she gets her way with you, and just before she kills you, she’ll reveal to you that she used to be a ‘guy’.
Gino: (playing along but sounding slightly irritated) Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. But you’ll never guess who she was hitting on last night!
Melvin: What’s her name again? Daisy? I wouldn’t be surprised if she used to be Desmond or Dirk or something.
Gino: She was hitting on me, moron. I was the maaaan! I only met her last night and we just hit it off!!!
Melvin: So she’s got bad taste too. I bet she has bad breath to match her bad eyesight. Did you sleep with her yet? Oh wait, apparently not ‘cause you’re still alive, hahaha.
Gino: Jerk! We’re going out on a date today. Only I don’t know yet where I’m going to take her. I was thinking of watching a movie with her.
Melvin: (sarcastically) How original! Is that the best you can think of? Why not something more exciting. Something memorable. Like invite her to a strip club or a gay bar. She might feel right at home!!!! Hahaha.
Gino: Yeah, I think the movie was a dumb idea. How ‘bout a picnic at the park? You know so I can get snugly and intimate with her.
Melvin: Perfect! After she’s done with you, she can just grab a shovel and bury you with your coleman and picnic basket under a tree. Why not something more exciting, like the zoo? Only when you go there, it will be attacked by human rights activists who will free all the animals. Just be sure to remember to stay near a tree you can climb quickly. Then again, I think I remember seeing lions climbing trees in Discover Channel or something…
Gino: I just want to take her to a place where I can do my thing with her. You know… be an animal!
Melvin: It will be crazy with all the hyenas running around in packs. You know what you can do though? You can go in one of those animal cages and lock yourselves in. Just the two of you. That way, the animals have no way of getting to you. You’ll have to stay in there until rescued. Problem is you might have to wait for days or something.
Gino: Yes, I think the zoo is a terrific idea.
Lights dim, curtains close.